Insight ? ~

"For me pain has no meaning."

Statement by Peter Hintze 

Vice President of the German Bundestag.

Protestant theologian,

while debating assisted suicide.

Mothers of the Fallen ~

Take your hands from your eyes wet with tears, dear Mother, to show us the beauty there that your suffering has caused.

Wise Old Monk ~

During a conversation I asked him where he found all the wisdom he imparts to others. He was embarrassed but said: maybe one has to suffer.

Suffering ~

Those on crutches would look me in the face and greet; the healthy ones would pass me by.

Good Friday ~ 2009

They were talking about what it meant to suffer — and our inability to. How we immediately grasp for the pills . . .

A Mother's Pain ~

Does the suffering of the mothers who have lost a son in war ever cease, or does the pain only end as she breathes her final breath?

Easing Pain ~

He was old and bent over so badly that all he could see on his walks were the flowers along the path.

Inside St. Peter's Basilica ~ Pietà

Her head bent, looking at her misery she holds on her lap. She is composed. She accepts, she consents. It seems as if she has breathed out, her heartbeat diastolic. She is all inward, she is weightless. Michaelangelo has focused all her sorrow in her face. In capturing her suffering he has made a universal image of the noble beauty that only suffering can bring about.

Inside St. Peter's Basilica ~

. . . and the three old nuns wearing wimples, bent over with age, tilting their heads to the side, painfully, trying to look up.

Beauty ~

I look into faces and find that the most beautiful are those that have suffered most.

Consolation? ~

There is more to be learned in bearing loss, the old monk said, than in the rapture of bliss.

All Saints Day ~ 2006

All Saints Day. I know a lot of them right around me. Like the mother who took her 40 year old son to the grave last week. The same mother who years ago lost one of her children when a bookshelf fell on top of him. That saddened woman who can never stop mourning. Quiet saints like she show us how to go on trusting in God. . . And maybe these too.

Friendship ~

Today I get news that an old friend of mine, and choir director and organist at our church back home has been arrested and put it jail for having touched a sixteen year old music student of his in an inappropriate manner on two occasions following the lessons. He also is said to have furnished alcohol to the teenager.

In this Valley of Tears ~

The insight of the old monks stands: It is the suffering, that we are bound to bear, that keeps us turning to God.

Treasure Piece ~

Today I disposed of an old black briefcase Aunt Martha had given me as a graduation gift back in the 1950's. I had used it through my college years and as a young teacher. When it was too worn to use I just couldn't bring myself to throw it away.

From my window, with heavy heart, I watched as the disposal truck came and drove off with it.

Valley of Tears ~

Spent the hour at the piano this morning. How consoling and quieting were the Bach hymns I played after attending the crushing funeral services for Dr. C. yesterday. I played with his wife and two daughters in mind.

Sadness ~

Just four months ago he gave me my yearly checkup, Dr. C., the dermatologist. Yesterday I read in the paper that he had died. Fifty-six years old. On inquiry they told me he had hanged himself.